When Wayne and Rosalin separated, they vowed to do something they failed to do for much of their 11-year marriage.
“The day I saw she didn’t have her wedding ring on anymore, it started a very tense conversation and we started blaming each other for things and all of a sudden, I said, ‘Stop!’” Wayne, from the New South Wales, Australia Southern Highlands, tells Kidspot.
“I told her, ‘We spent our marriage fighting so let’s not fight anymore. Let’s move forward to the future, not look back at the past’.”
While many exes attempt a friendly separation, Wayne and Roslin – who share two children, Jake, 11, and Ruby, 9 – more than followed through on their promise.
“It’s been amicable since that day.”
Even through their divorce proceedings, the exes would travel to lawyers’ offices and court together.
“The lawyer was trying to get us to fight but we didn’t want that, we just wanted to do what was fair,” the 49-year-old says.
“I would pick her up, we would do what we needed to and have lunch together after.”
They even celebrated their divorce day, on August 1, 2022, with cake and coffee.
“We had a laugh and a hug and thanked each other for making it so amicable and easy for one another.”
Wayne not only pays the agreed child support amount to Rosalin, but volunteers more funds when there are extra costs for the kids, such as the start of the school year.
Similarly, when Wayne mentioned he would need to transfer some of his pay in order to buy groceries one week, Rosalin offered to take meat out of her freezer for him to take home.
When it comes time for big purchases, such as iPads, and expensive Christmas gifts on the kids’ wishlists, Wayne and Rosalin split the cost.
“We always help the kids buy presents for the other person for Mother’s Day, Christmas and birthdays,” he adds.
“It’s just what you do.”
While it is agreed that Wayne – who now lives with his partner of two years, Michelle – has the kids five days a fortnight, the exes remain completely flexible as to when those days occur.
“My roster is always different with morning, evening and afternoon shifts, so when I get it, I send it to her and she then arranges when I have the kids around that,” Wayne, who works as a hospital nurse, says.
“Or if she has a family birthday to take the kids to, then we adjust it for occasions like that. If I want to take the kids camping and have an extra day, then that’s what we do. We don’t have a set schedule at all.”
At Christmas, they even have each other over for breakfast when it’s the other parent’s turn for the kids to sleep there.
“One year I was outside cooking on the barbeque and could hear my ex and girlfriend chatting and laughing in the kitchen. I’m so lucky to have this kind of set up.”
Amazingly, the exes even help each other with household chores.
“One day I dropped the kids off and while we were waiting for Rosalin to get home, I saw there were some things that needed to be done, so I got the kids and we all chipped in and folded the washing, vacuumed, tidied the kitchen and got the kids to pick some flowers to leave on the kitchen table for their mum.”
The former couple are so generous towards each other that Rosalin has volunteered to look after the children in her old family home one evening so that Wayne and Michelle could attend a party on one of his scheduled days with the kids.
Wayne also has a key to Rosalin’s house, and will often pick up the kids from her home in the morning and take them to school.
Since the split, Rosalin went on to have a baby girl named Savannah with another man, and has been a sole parent to her ever since the pregnancy.
Wayne has been a supportive and doting relative every step of the way.
“When she told me her situation, my heart actually broke because this little girl is going to watch Jake and Ruby go to their dad’s place and she won’t have a dad to do that with, and I don’t want her to wonder, ‘What’s wrong with me?’” the father says with heartfelt emotion.
“She is beautiful and she will be loved, and that’s what she deserves. So whenever my kids are with me, she’s welcome whenever she likes.”
“I want to be a part of this little girl’s life, just like Rosalin was a wonderful stepmother to my older son, Guy. I said to Rosalin, ‘I don’t want to be ‘dad’ but I would love to be an uncle to her. Would that be okay?’ And she said, ‘Of course’. But Savannah can call me anything she likes.”
Wayne and Michelle even came to the rescue as a babysitter for 11-month-old Savannah when Rosalin had booked a two-night trip to Melbourne.
“When she posted on Facebook that she was looking for someone to look after the baby, I actually got offended,” he smiles.
“I asked Rosalin if I’d upset her because she hadn’t already asked me and I was more than happy to. When she came home from Melbourne to pick up the kids, we made some dinner for her so she could take it home. We just do things like that for each other.”
A beautiful milestone in Wayne and Rosalin’s co-parenting relationship came last year when they happened to be talking about the godparents of their two children.
“She said, speaking of godfathers, would you like to be Savannah’s?’” Wayne remembers fondly.
“Of course, I cried like an idiot and said, ‘Yes’.”
Similarly, Rosalin and Michelle, who is also a single parent to two grown children, have also had a wonderfully amicable relationship from the very beginning.
“Michelle has been so amazing,” Wayne says lovingly.
“When I say that Rosalin is coming for dinner that night, her only reply is ‘What time?’ They are friends on Facebook and they comment on each other’s posts. She will often say to Savannah how much she loves her. I would love to marry Michelle, and our running joke is that she just hasn’t asked me.”
Wayne knows just how fortunate he is to have a harmonious relationship between not just one but both mothers of his children, as well as his (hopeful) future wife.
“I count my blessings for how lucky I am,” he says.
“Rosalin is the best ex wife a bloke could ask for. Her leaving is the best thing she could have done for me. Her and I were not a good couple but we are exceptionally good parents and now we bring out the best in each other.”
“The way I see it is the happier she is, the happier my children are. I don’t get how other parents don’t understand that. I could never hate the person who gave birth to my children. You can never have too much love.”
