Emily Morse was tired of faking it — in bed.
By age 35, the self-proclaimed serial monogamist was growing weary of her own nightly performances, pulling out all the sultry stops to fool her partners into thinking she’d been fully satisfied.
But Morse — who holds a doctorate in human sexuality — was far from sated.
And so, in June 2021, the brunette, who hosts the relationship podcast “Sex With Emily,” decided it was time to apply her years of education to her unfulfilling situation, spending a lengthy period in self-examination.
Good sex, Morse says she’s now certain, starts nowhere near your blurred-out bits.
“[It] has everything to do with your brain — it’s your largest sexual organ,” Morse, 53, author of the new book “Smart Sex: How to Boost Your Sex IQ and Own Your Pleasure” (Park Row) told The Post.
“Once you’re able to integrate your brain with your body, through understanding your sexual intelligence quotient, or Sex IQ,” she added, “you’ll be having the hottest sex and orgasms with yourself and your partner.”
Morse created the concept of a boudoir intelligence test as a self-help method. In her book, she’s passing along her hard-won knowledge.
The adults-only IQ, Morse said, is a collection of information that helps folks identify, communicate and fulfill their ever-evolving sexual wants and needs.
Unlike the more commonplace intelligence quotient, or “IQ,” which determines a person’s ability to reason on a scale between 70 to 130, Morse says Sex IQ isn’t quantifiable, or even a score.
Instead, it’s the comprehensive understanding of a person’s likes and dislikes, fantasies and quirks, as well as their “Pleasure Thieves” — stress, shame and trauma-inducers — that often hamper their ability to find euphoria between the sheets.
“It’s the psychology of sex that allows people to take responsibility for their own sex lives and realize that great sex is completely possible,” she said.
“By evolving your Sex IQ,” she writes in her book, “you’ll be able to tune into what’s happening in your own body — and why — and really understand and be intentional about your own sex life.”
Morse explained to The Post that the Sex IQ is built on five pillars of sexuality: Embodiment, Health, Collaboration, Self-Knowledge and Self-Acceptance.
“These pleasure pillars are all aimed at helping people approach sex from a mindful and holistic place,” she said.
This multi-faceted approach, she said, helped her reach a personal record of 23 orgasms in one night.
“My sex life has improved 100% because I realized it’s not some magical thing that’s good when it’s good and that will fix itself once the magic wanes,” Morse said. “It’s about knowing where I am sexually, and expressing that to my partner.”
Here, a brief guide to the five pillars of your Sex IQ, as described by Morse.
Embodiment
“Embodiment is all about developing a new kind of awareness of your bodies wants and needs. It’s about maintaining that mind and body connection, and staying in the moment, not disassociating, during sex.”
Health
“Great sex is about blood flow. Erections and orgasms come from healthy blood flow, so it’s important to maintain a solid workout routine that keeps the body moving.”
Collaboration
“It’s all about making sure you’re voicing your needs and wants to your partner. Most of the sexual problems in our relationships have nothing to do with sex and everything to do with communication. But once you begin asking yourself and your partner questions, ‘What turns you on?’ ‘What time of day is best for us to have sex?’ ‘What kind of sex are we having?’ couples can grow in this area together.”
Self-Knowledge
“It’s about understanding your arousal patterns and what you need in order to feel sexy and sensual. It focuses on knowing what is required for you to be in the mood to have sex, what gets you ready and turned on. People assume that scheduling sex is boring or sad or a sign that their sex life is dead in the water. But it can actually be really hot, partly because it gives you time to create the ideal conditions for you to build your desire.”
Self-Acceptance
“Fully accepting your body and the sexual experiences you’ve had, or learning to feel good when you’re naked and having sex with your partner, isn’t always easy. But it’s important to begin practicing self-compassion, and telling yourself that you’re lovable, worthy and deserving of great sex despite your insecurities or past.”
